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About Turin

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

Testimonials

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Finally, lunchtime rolls around. I bolt outta there. I head straight to the festival. Man, it’s packed! People everywhere, music blasting, and the smell of food? To die for! I grab a plate of tortelli. It’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m standing there, scarfing it down, when I bump into my old high school buddy, Luca. He’s like, “Bro, you still doing teeth?” I’m like, “Yeah, and you still playing video games?” Classic Luca.

Making a bed was never this easy